The Drum Roll Starts............

Happy New Year to ALL of you!


 I am sad this week as two CC friends (from Facebook) have died from this horrible disease....May God's peace be with them forever more.


Well....the drum roll begins as one week from today I will be awakening with silence and prayer harder and stronger than most days as this is the day I see Dr. Javle at MD Anderson to get the results of my PET scan/blood work. Although I know it is all in Gods hands, there are the what ifs of:
1. What if this is when I am told there is nothing else they can do for me....
2. What if things have grown....but there are still tools in the toolbox. Not a worst case scenario but not the best either.
3. STABILITY....NO GROWTH....those would be close to the dream words. These are the words I ask God to bless me with every day....several times....along with thanks that I have been so healthy THIS long.
4. NECROTIC.....that is the best thing that they could say and that would mean I would not have to do chemo for another 3 months. Yes, I have been on vacation with no chemo since September 30. I had the radiation with a chemo pill but when the radiation was over, the pill stopped, too.
5. Next month will be my 3 year anniversary since my diagnosis. This is atleast 2 years longer than most unresectable/non transplantable patients live.


Now, I will address the above scenarios in a few simple but powerful words.
                                        IT'S ALL IN GODS HANDS!! 


Yes, I am human and to tell you I don't shed a tear about losing my family and this comfortable life that I have, I would be lying. I also just figure every day wasted on pity is a day wasted....period. So I choose to pray instead. You don't think I have made it almost 3....3 years on my own....do you?  No, it had everything to do with God.....and all the prayer warriors out there to help God know I am needed here on this earth for just a bit longer. HE is hearing all of you....loud and clear.
I refuse to be on the edge of my seat with worry. It is what it is......and God has a plan. My faith tells me to trust Him no matter what.....when and if I start to turn down the road of death, God is still there. "Do not be afraid, for I am right beside you".....words I will always hear in my ear from that one day at Mayo Clinic.


So.....when I say I am not worrying about dying anytime this month....or the next 8-10 months. We have made some plans to live life in the here and NOW!!! Pat has decided we are taking a trip...to see his son in St.Thomas (U.S. Virgin Islands) in February. Then in March, my mom, both of my sisters, my brother and his wife plus their son who is returning from Turkey (he is in the US Air Force), Pat and I are all going to Hawaii for 10 days. We have rented a house 30 feet from the ocean in Oahu. Once there, my brothers daughter is living over there (she is in the Navy) and she might be getting married if her fiancé can get back from where he is just getting stationed in S. Carolina. We also have another nephew over there with his wife (and he is in the US Air Force also). So.....we have lots of people to visit, show us around the island, just lay back and watch the beauty God has made for us to enjoy.  THEN....in August, my immediate family will travel to Destin to the same house we rented last year. So....I guess you could say I plan on being here until August if God has it in his plan. I most importantly have a new grandson due in May, I speak at  The Walk & Roll of Richland County in May, and then I have a daughter getting married in August who would like me to walk her down the isle.


How do I feel? Well.....no pain....no jaundice....I was going to the gym and exercising 3 miles on the elliptical just under 39 minutes.....with a resistance of 8. Then we got this ice and snow up to your "shabboggins" and I am not traveling under the road conditions....plus the -30 to -40 (wind chill)degree weather. So I have not been to the gym for about a week. IF anyone has a GOOD elliptical they want to get rid of or sell reasonably....please let me know. I feel pretty darn good to be frank. Not losing much weight.....but trying.....some. But going without chemo for over 3 months scares the dickens out of me....this means the cancer cells from the tumor that were waking up....could travel to other places in my body.  This is where I entirely just say...."Well.....God....What are we going to do? Direct my doctor to guide me away from these ugly cells for a long time." 


I am back at working on my children's storybook to sell for our Relay team.  Two more pages to sketch and then I can start painting. I would love to have it painted and to the printers by the end of the week....but that's a loooong stretch. Goals.....


My goal is to take one day at a time. Give thanks where thanks is needed. Enjoy the days even if I am just sipping a latte and watching the wildlife outside. And that no matter what results I get next week, I know God is in charge of this journey called life. I praise Him and thank Him everyday for my high quality of life.


May you all stay safe in the area...and just stay home unless you are like... out of toilet paper or something important. It is just not worth getting out in these conditions.


Be safe and may God Bless You ALL!!


Hugs~~
Patty