At a Loss For Words........

As I sit here at home, staring at this computer, I would like to whine and do the "sing and dance" about how I wish I could crawl under a rock and die. But I won't... yet.

My bloodwork was given to me by the radiology department during my scan, and I thought everything looked really good except one and it was one I don't remember seeing it before. It was grossly out of range. But, I remained optimistic that night and was ready for my scan results the next day. The clinical trial coordinator wouldn't give me any clues what my results were and said I would have to wait for the physician's assistant that was coming in next. SHE would not give me any clues and said Dr. Meric wanted to go over the scan results with me. I knew at this point, it wasn't good.

Dr. Meric said although the liver was stable, I had some new nodes in the lining of the stomach. I also had a few 2 cm nodes by my ovary that they had been watching and in two months they are 4 cm. It is enough growth to take me off the trial. She had another trial but I would have to travel to Texas every week. NOT.  Then, Dr. Javle wanted to see me so we met with him. He wants to do Irinotecan along with Leukovoren and Xeloda. He wants to put a port in, and I would have a pump for two days while all three drugs are slowly released. Then, I would travel back to Effingham and have the fanny pack that holds the chemo removed. I would do this every two weeks. My family is concerned with a port as that is what caused all the blood clots over 5 years ago. Jenn has a call in to Dr. Goswami (my dr at St. Johns/Prairie Heart Institute in Springfield, Illinois who removed all the hundreds of clots last time) to see what he thinks. Dr. Dy believes we will be fine as long as we keep a close eye on the consistency of my blood.
I do not look forward to chemo but these chemotherapy agents have worked in the past so I feel better than entering a trial again. Along with the chemo, can come low white counts which would add the Neulasta shot. Kim, the nurse at Crossroads said the side effects are not quite as bad since it is slowly released over 48 hours instead of pushing the drugs into my system in a few hours.
I am not going to lie, when you get nodules (that they are pretty sure are cancerous) in the peritoneal region, it is time to get out the gloves and give it my best shot.

I know this is a pretty serious post, but it is pretty serious right now. I've been in tight spots before and have came out on top, I am not about to throw in the towel now!! 

A huge thanks to David and Lynda Rands whom we stayed with in O'Fallon after a delayed flight and a midnight arrival to their house. They are great hosts and even better friends!!

Thank you all for your prayers and God is with me. ALWAYS!  I am still here.....there's a sharp curve ahead but I have taken a few of those in the past and survived. So....stay tuned for the next step in this land of Cancer at the Corcoran's!

Hugs,
Patty