Monday, January 2, 2012

A New Year......2012

Well.....2011 came and went. My New Years Eve consisted of going to Mass then babysitting for grandbaby #2, Braeda. Amy & Rylan were home by 10 so I was still home in bed by 10:45. Today is my last day off before ending my 4 day weekend. I return for chemo tomorrow and see what changes the Dr will make. Since the rash, I have not taken the Tarceva or Xeloda......I am anxious to see which one he thinks I am having the allergic reaction to. I think it is the Xeloda. I pray it is the Xeloda. Although it is a chemo drug, there are lots more to try but there is only one Tarceva to help my cancer from producing new cancer cells in other parts of my body. It is not a guarantee but it is suppose to I hate to lose that drug.
The rash is all gone and I feel really good.....only because I am not on any chemo right now and because the Tarceva has been halted. It seems alot of people in my family have a cold or flu like symptoms right now, so I am staying close to home.
I went back to my very first blog written in April of last year and the first few after my first post. So much has happened since then but I am still here! I might look different as a client in my office pointed out last week. I took this client back to my office and I could see he was looking around at my office. He finally said "Where is the lady that was here last year?" ....I said that would have been me......He said"No, this lady had a desk just like this but her computer was under her desk with a glass over it AND she was really nice looking."  OUCH!  I started laughing about that time to keep from crying. I told him that I had been in that room for atleast the last ten years and it was me because I am the only one who had a desk like he described. I told him it was called cancer that changed my looks so much. He just gasped and looked a little closer at me. Then, of course, he apologized. TOO LATE.......the damage was already done. I can laugh about it because cancer does change you inside (health wise) and on the loss, rash from drugs, and a fatigue look with dark circles under your eyes. On another note...............
We booked our Summer Vacation Home last week in South Nags Head, North Carolina. We booked the week starting July 22-29. So.......I must think I'm going to feel good enough to make the trip and have a good time (as we have for the past 10 years). We take all the kids and their spouse or a friend. It's alot of people BUT alot of fun! We have not always went to N.C., but have also traveled to Gulf Shores & Tybee Island, Georgia, but our heart keeps leading us back to North Carolina.
Pat & I are also scheduled to travel to Costa Rica next month. For five nights and six days at the Marriott Resort. I am a little sceptical as when I googled things to caution, they listed Hepatitis A, Malaria, Yellow Fever, and some other scary diseases you could get from a mosquito bite. Guess I will just lather up good with some Deet and not go into the rainforest. Just a nice rest and relaxation type of vacation.
This CANCER has awakened my faith in so many ways. In the beginning of this journey, I thanked Him for giving me this cancer as it made me so much closer to Him. I thought it was wrong for me to ask Him to take it away. Then when talking to a co-worker, she said she prayed daily that God would heal my cancer. I asked her if it was ok to pray for that and she said of course. I thank Him for the closeness I now feel but I also ask him to take away my cancer and I promise to stay close to Him.  No matter what happens in the year ahead, I know HE is right beside me.
I promise to update tomorrow, or one of my girls will, as to the changes being made about my treatment plan. If you don't get a call from me, please don't take it personally. I sometimes can't remember who I have and have not called. The phone goes both ways, so feel free to pick up your own phone and call OR check back on the blog.
May God be with all of you starting this new year. May you also strive to be a better person, to help someone in need, to not only talk the walk BUT walk the walk!!

Hugs & Prayers!!

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