Tuesday, June 30, 2015

"Why not me"

I was somewhat leary to trek our way to Houston, Texas this week as I felt like my insides had been put through a meat grinder...sort of.  Sunday, as I prayed and listened to the radio as Pat drove to Houston....something said to me "WHY NOT YOU??   (This was when I was pondering what I could do next to kill the cancer cells if the clinical trial pill had quit working.  WHY NOT ME to be the one to get some good news. WHY NOT ME to keep marching on in this fight! 
You see, when I got the devastating news that I had cancer, I didn't say "Why ME!"   I said "Why not me!!"  I didn't want to wish it on anyone else in the whole wide world....so I pledged to fight like a big girl and give it all I had.
My daily prayer as I was getting ready this morning was this:
My steadfast Love never ceases, My mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning. I know how you desperately want to believe this--and how much you are struggling to do so. Today, the only things that seem endless are your problems and your pain. But I am here--tenderly present--ready to help you get safely through this day. Believing this truth can make the difference between coping and giving up in despair.

God was with me ALL of today....and every day!  Sometimes when I start to worry....I pray...and I pray...and I pray some more. Thank you God for realizing that I needed You to hold me up...to know that I will continue marching!!

Dr. Javle said my scan report was the first thing he looked at this morning. It was the best thing he looked at this morning. He was so happy with my scan...as was everyone in the office. They all were excited when they saw me and knew of the great report Dr. Javle was anxiously awaiting to tell me. I had two very small tumors residual from the main big cholangiocarcinoma in my liver that are now gone. ERASED! No MORE!   Then there is the aortal lymph node that put me on this trial because it doubled over a two month period back in January. After being on the clinical trial for two months, it shrunk a lot and my cancer marker was 7.  Today my cancer marker is 5.8!!!   My platelets had been hanging around 109,00 to 118,000....today, they are 142,000!!   That is awesome news.  My liver is stable, my kidney function is good, and my blood work is mostly all in normal limits.

I met friends from Oregon for lunch on Monday.....and then saw them again as we were waiting for the trial drug. She asked me if I thought God had a hand in my good results....Oh yes...he has EVERYTHING to do with them!!  He calms me, He talks to me, He directs me when I am weak, He is right beside me all the time.  Yes, I have been blessed with GOOD dr's....but God is MY Great Physician!!

So, Pat and I are planning a 10-12 day trip to Venice, Italy and a cruise along the coast of Greece in August. I am going to live and try to enjoy every day of this life.

As Pat and I were eating lunch with the above mentioned friends, Lisa asked my husband, Pat how we deal with all of this cancer stuff. I will leave you with his response:

"None of us really know for sure from one day to the next. Since it is already past noon today, today is looking pretty good!! And tomorrow seems like a fair possibility. We just have thank God for every day that we wake up and make the best of that day! Isn't that all any of us really have?"

So be thankful for every day....just as I am thankful and blessed!!

Patty Corcoran


  1. Just the BEST of news, Patty! I've been checking everyday for your good news and held my breath while I was reading and there it was! The fabulous, FABULOUS news from the wonderful and compassionate Dr. Javle...what a warrior he is! I hope you can hear my standing ovation! I too believe in the power of prayers and have as many people as possible praying for my sister Kathy - as my last post to you mentioned she and her devoted husband leave next week for 5 weeks to start IMRT with Dr. Javle and MDA---please pray for a miraculous disappearance for the tumor. Have a wonderful, amazing trip to Venice - I hope you also take the train to Florence which is so inspiring. The last time I was in Venice it was with my twin. Beautiful memory - as I am sure it will be for you and Pat - and remembered for decades to come! Blessings - Jeannie Seeley-Smith

  2. It was wonderful seeing you and Pat twice! Hungry's in Houston was delicious and the company terrific! So happy for the miraculous news. I have always wanted to go to Venice!
    Arrivederci! Lisa

  3. Patty, This is such wonderful, awesome news! We are so very, very happy for you! Congratulations!

    Please keep us in your prayers. We go for scans in two weeks too. Hopefully we have continue success as well even though MaryAnn is on 50mg since February with stable disease. Pray that we can get them to up the dosage some how someway without coming off the trial.

    God Bless, Matt