Tomorrow at 10:30....I will start my third week of treatment of IMRT. By the end of this week, I will physically have a clue probably how my body is going to react. Being "cooked" is hard on your body. And although they are aiming for one lymph node, it is somewhat close to the duodenum and could cause some nausea or diarrhea. People sometimes start to get fatigued. But, until those symptoms rear their ugly head like a dragon....I will march on!
I have to tell you about our weekend. We went down to Harlingen to visit Ron Hancock at his new home. We went to a flea market......we went to Padre Island although it was a little cloudy and breezy. Walking up and down the beach never gets old to me. That evening, we all went to a senior fundraiser at the gated community Ron's house is in. These people might be 55 and older but let me tell you, they are sharp as a tack! I was excited as they had raffles, casino games (no money gambling but you got chips and then turned them in for raffle tickets and prizes were drawn at the end of the night). I was so excited ALL DAY about the BINGO (I have no life)......so at lunch, we were sitting in George Jones' (used to live in Olney) favorite place to sit and eat in Texas (according to Ron Hancock) and I just yelled "BINGO!" Yip.....LOUD. We got some stares and I just smiled like I didn't know who just yelled that!
That evening, when we started playing BINGO, I got a Bingo on the second game. I won $1,000 in chips! So....as the evening progressed, some elderly ladies came in and they claimed...."It's been so long since we've played Bingo...I might have forgot" I said......."it's easy!" And all of a sudden I yelled "BINGO!" L.O.U.D.!!! and proceeded to tell the lady that's what you do! The lady next to me had to go change her pants I think. I thought it was super funny.....her.....not so much! Let's just say I might be dying but I still have a little spunk in this body! HMPH~~
I have a lot of spunk actually and am feeling pretty good. As I sit here listening to 60 Minutes in the background.....and Pat snoring in the bedroom, I smile. I smile because I am happy. I feel loved. I might not have a lot of money but I have God, family, friends, and LOVE.
I am going to keep this post short...as I just wanted to update that I am still doing well. I saw my oncologist, my radiation oncologist, my nutritionist, ummmm did I leave anyone out? I am so grateful for my health team. I'll be adding an endocrinologist dr soon as Dr. Javle would like to do a bone density scan. I have had lower back pain (which I have had since about 7th or 8th grade) and some right hip pain occasionally. I, of course, made sure he wasn't suspecting cancer and he assured me it was because I have had three separate cookings of radiation and we just need to make sure I am not getting the onset of osteoporosis. If I am, I will pop a new pill probably. It's too early for the what if's, but if my bones ARE becoming brittle, I am thankful my doctor is on top of it!!
As I close, I will leave you with a piece of scripture that a friend sent to me a few weeks back.
"In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
God is HERE all the time......ALL the time, God is HERE! HE is all around us~~
Keep you posted in a week on my health status.
God Bless~~
Patty Corcoran...........#BINGO!
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Starting my sixth year......
Mid February of 2011 is when my world split into a million pieces....or did it? I was diagnosed with Intrahepatic Cholangiocarcinoma mid February. After being told I had 9-12 months to live with chemo, I walk away from that dr without knowing where I was even going. I feel God was guiding me.....as I believe He still is to this day.
To say my world was split into a million pieces is an overstatement.....YES, I said overstatement. I didn't ask for cancer, never dreamed it would be knocking at my door soon after I turned 46....but it did. There are so...so...SO many things and people who have came into my life that have changed me as a person. I believe they are changes for the better.
The BIGGEST person to come into my life was GOD. He was always in my life...I have stated before, I was like a soldier. I went to Mass, gave when I could afford in my younger single parent years, and prayed when something was wrong with one of my parents or when my children were in distress. It wasn't until I was diagnosed with cancer that I REALLY asked God to help me. I cried for Him to lift me up when I couldn't stand. I asked Him to carry me when I couldn't walk.....and HE HAS! He has given me more faith and has made me realize that HE is always with me! Something that I lacked in my life prior to cancer.
Cancer has brought so many, many, many, MANY people across my path in the world of cancer. People who maybe find my blog and I get a phone call from countries far away....one of my first questions to them is..."Do you believe in God?" ANYONE with cholangiocarcinoma can tell you life with God when going through such a tough battle is like seeing a light at the end of the tunnel instead of just.....darkness.
I just ask each of you to stop in your busy "I don't have time for____" thoughts and ask yourself what you can do to make the world a brighter place. What can you do as a sacrifice just as God made for us. I am not going to push God down your throat, that is a personal decision you have to make...just as I did. But you never know when your last day will be. Do you?
So....fast forward five years, 6 grandchildren with one due in just a few short weeks.....life is great for me. I am so thankful for my life. I have never known when my last day would be.....I have had a cerebral hemorrhage, blood clots throughout my upper body, many chemo cocktails that had my tail dragging for months, I am on my third separate plan of radiation. God has been there....I have leaned on Him....and I know He carried me when I couldn't stand. But...I am here, and I am thankful!
So, with that said, I will give a brief update on my stay in Houston while getting IMRT to a lymph node that we have been watching for some time, but Dr. J decided it was time to act. I am 5 days into my IMRT with 23 treatments to go (I get the weekends off for good behavior ;-). I also take Xeloda (a chemo pill- 6 a day) to also knock that lymph node into space. Week one has been pretty good. A little fatigue but Pat and I did walk on Thursday and Friday. I even lifted a few weights! So, I shall march on into the radiation as long as labwork and my body hold up. I feel pretty good. Pat and I attended 10 am Mass at Holy Ghost Catholic Church in Houston and then met Clyde and Cindy (Bateman) Leuchtag for a wonderful lunch! Then back to our donated camper which is quite nice!! There are approximately 350 campers here and everyone seems friendly. Thank you Ted and Jackie (Muhs) Ley!!
Tomorrow, I start week two of radiation. The nutritionist has already stopped in to visit me during my visit with my radiation oncologist, Dr. Das. She knows I get to a point and can't hardly eat and start to lose weight. I am armed and ready with Ensure high protein shakes, protein powder, and high protein bars......I pray I skip right thru this so I can go home to roost with a new grandbaby!!
If I would have died as the first opinion doctor stated, I would never have saw my first grandchild. I am so very thankful for time. I have learned that LOVE is the most important thing....and everything else kind of falls in place after that. I can't worry about when or where I will die. I just can't. I feel like I would be disappointing God if I just worried all the time....cried...or just plain gave up. No, God wants me to use this time to live, love, make a difference, and be the best person I can be because there was a time that I didn't care who I stomped on in life. I am not that person anymore. I strive to be a better person but I am not perfect. There have been so so SO many wonderful people who have passed before me. I cannot ask God why.....I can only thank Him for giving me this "extra" time to give thanks and praise to His name! This is not meant to be of ANY disrespect who have had loved ones pass before me with this dreaded disease. I grieve with each family as I know many CC patients do. You see....through networking, Facebook, and more importantly, the Cholangiocarcinoma Foundation, who has woven hundreds of us CC patients together into a tight family that is there emotionally for each other. The resources, clinical trial info, patient networking, doctors who specialize in CC all over the world, drug info....the Cholangiocarcinoma Foundation is #1 for CC patients.
I thank each and every one of you for your prayers. Life is good....
Blessing to you all!!
Patty Corcoran
To say my world was split into a million pieces is an overstatement.....YES, I said overstatement. I didn't ask for cancer, never dreamed it would be knocking at my door soon after I turned 46....but it did. There are so...so...SO many things and people who have came into my life that have changed me as a person. I believe they are changes for the better.
The BIGGEST person to come into my life was GOD. He was always in my life...I have stated before, I was like a soldier. I went to Mass, gave when I could afford in my younger single parent years, and prayed when something was wrong with one of my parents or when my children were in distress. It wasn't until I was diagnosed with cancer that I REALLY asked God to help me. I cried for Him to lift me up when I couldn't stand. I asked Him to carry me when I couldn't walk.....and HE HAS! He has given me more faith and has made me realize that HE is always with me! Something that I lacked in my life prior to cancer.
Cancer has brought so many, many, many, MANY people across my path in the world of cancer. People who maybe find my blog and I get a phone call from countries far away....one of my first questions to them is..."Do you believe in God?" ANYONE with cholangiocarcinoma can tell you life with God when going through such a tough battle is like seeing a light at the end of the tunnel instead of just.....darkness.
I just ask each of you to stop in your busy "I don't have time for____" thoughts and ask yourself what you can do to make the world a brighter place. What can you do as a sacrifice just as God made for us. I am not going to push God down your throat, that is a personal decision you have to make...just as I did. But you never know when your last day will be. Do you?
So....fast forward five years, 6 grandchildren with one due in just a few short weeks.....life is great for me. I am so thankful for my life. I have never known when my last day would be.....I have had a cerebral hemorrhage, blood clots throughout my upper body, many chemo cocktails that had my tail dragging for months, I am on my third separate plan of radiation. God has been there....I have leaned on Him....and I know He carried me when I couldn't stand. But...I am here, and I am thankful!
So, with that said, I will give a brief update on my stay in Houston while getting IMRT to a lymph node that we have been watching for some time, but Dr. J decided it was time to act. I am 5 days into my IMRT with 23 treatments to go (I get the weekends off for good behavior ;-). I also take Xeloda (a chemo pill- 6 a day) to also knock that lymph node into space. Week one has been pretty good. A little fatigue but Pat and I did walk on Thursday and Friday. I even lifted a few weights! So, I shall march on into the radiation as long as labwork and my body hold up. I feel pretty good. Pat and I attended 10 am Mass at Holy Ghost Catholic Church in Houston and then met Clyde and Cindy (Bateman) Leuchtag for a wonderful lunch! Then back to our donated camper which is quite nice!! There are approximately 350 campers here and everyone seems friendly. Thank you Ted and Jackie (Muhs) Ley!!
Tomorrow, I start week two of radiation. The nutritionist has already stopped in to visit me during my visit with my radiation oncologist, Dr. Das. She knows I get to a point and can't hardly eat and start to lose weight. I am armed and ready with Ensure high protein shakes, protein powder, and high protein bars......I pray I skip right thru this so I can go home to roost with a new grandbaby!!
If I would have died as the first opinion doctor stated, I would never have saw my first grandchild. I am so very thankful for time. I have learned that LOVE is the most important thing....and everything else kind of falls in place after that. I can't worry about when or where I will die. I just can't. I feel like I would be disappointing God if I just worried all the time....cried...or just plain gave up. No, God wants me to use this time to live, love, make a difference, and be the best person I can be because there was a time that I didn't care who I stomped on in life. I am not that person anymore. I strive to be a better person but I am not perfect. There have been so so SO many wonderful people who have passed before me. I cannot ask God why.....I can only thank Him for giving me this "extra" time to give thanks and praise to His name! This is not meant to be of ANY disrespect who have had loved ones pass before me with this dreaded disease. I grieve with each family as I know many CC patients do. You see....through networking, Facebook, and more importantly, the Cholangiocarcinoma Foundation, who has woven hundreds of us CC patients together into a tight family that is there emotionally for each other. The resources, clinical trial info, patient networking, doctors who specialize in CC all over the world, drug info....the Cholangiocarcinoma Foundation is #1 for CC patients.
I thank each and every one of you for your prayers. Life is good....
Blessing to you all!!
Patty Corcoran
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
My Houston address
Friends, family, and friends of family :-)
While in Houston, my address will be:
Patty Corcoran
11991S. Main Street
Houston, TX 77035
I had someone ask for it....so here it is.
Patty
While in Houston, my address will be:
Patty Corcoran
11991S. Main Street
Houston, TX 77035
I had someone ask for it....so here it is.
Patty
Monday, February 8, 2016
Where Will I End Up Next ?!
Boy, it seems like I have not posted in a very long time. Since getting home from Texas, Pat and I were home for a week, then headed to Salt Lake City for the 10th Annual Cholangiocarcinoma Conference. WOW! Just....WOW! It was not only a beautiful city surrounded by mountains but it is just a beautiful city. I knew a lot of the cholangiocarcinoma patients from Facebook and a PRIVATE Warriors Facebook page so it was like a big family reunion ....only you had to put the faces with the names. Each day passed too quickly and my mind hurt from all the super intense sessions that included doctors, researchers, patients, and caregivers. I have an even deeper appreciation for the CC Foundation and the people who keep it running not to mention finding doctors and researchers who are looking for cutting edge treatments and hopefully a cure someday sooner than later!!
I enjoyed each day...Tuesday, the first evening started with pizza at a nearby pizza restaurant and then back to the hotel to talk some more. On Wednesday, I got up and met Danny VanBrenk from the Netherlands for a walk around a small part of the city. There was about an inch of new fallen snow and it was just beyond beautiful with the mountains surrounding the entire city. Our first sessions of the day started at 12. We had doctors who answered questions, talked about new treatments, we networked with our experiences, heard success stories from people who are cancer free. It was a great day! Thursday started at 8 a.m. and it was so informative....I am so thankful Pat and I were able to attend. It was an honor to be there. The day didn't end until approximately 7 and Pat and I were wiped out! Friday started early again and it was also so very full of information. That evening, 9 of us went for supper at The New Yorker. It was a pleasure to have Dr. Javle join us and it was 11:15 before we left to go back to the hotel. Along with Pat and I were two ladies from Houston, two from Ohio, one from Oregon, and one from the Netherlands. We landed ourselves in a private dining room with one round table....we could all have a discussion and everyone felt a part of it. It was one of the nicest times I have endured just discussing cancer but also just talking about life.
Saturday came too soon and it was to the airport we go by 10. As we were going through security, I saw one of the men at the conference. He wasn't a patient and I just figured he was a doctor. Close....more of a researcher. We spoke briefly as I waited for Pat to get through security. He asked us to join him for lunch and we gladly accepted. His name was Patrick Foley from Wyoming. What a nice lunch before realizing it was time to get to our gate......they were loading and it worked out perfectly!
Pat and I returned home late Saturday night around 10:30 p.m. This is the last week we will be in Illinois for awhile. I spent Sunday with my sister, Sarah. I ask for prayers for her as she continues to heal from a criminal assault which has landed her in the Carle Hospital in Champaign for a couple of weeks, plus surgery, and now intense therapy at Helia Healthcare in Olney. I am praying really, really hard for myself and the bad thoughts I have against the crazy girl who did this to Sarah. I have always had a hard time understanding crazy....but I pray no one else is harmed from this demonic person.
I have a pretty busy week ahead of me. Today was spent cleaning, painting a bit, and picking up a grandchild from preschool. Not to mention the security cameras we had installed to alert the police if there is a break-in.
Sunday, Pat and I will make the trip to Houston with a gypsy looking car packed full of clothes and things we will need while in Houston for almost 6 weeks. I will receive IMRT for 28 treatments to the aortocaval lymph node that is lighting up and now approximately 3 1/2 cm. Dr. Javle has been keeping a close eye on it and it has just increased little by little over the past nine months or so. So....its time to cook it. Pray for good aiming, good results, and few to no side effects. Pat and I are staying in a 30 foot camper that has been donated for us to use for the six weeks we are in Houston. Jackie (Muhs) Ley and her husband will take it down to the Lakeview R.V. Resort and park it for us. WOW, just WOW! How giving of her to do this for me as it has probably been my high school days since I have actually saw Jackie. Just one more family put in our path on this journey called cancer. This RV park has a pool, a hot tub, walking path, pond, exercise room, etc. This is the same campground we stayed in a couple years ago when I received radiation. It's about a 15 minute drive on a good traffic day....and my radiation appointments seem to be around 2, so if we can get in and out pretty quick, we can beat the crazy Houstonians and their reckless driving. (Please remember, I am from a town of appr. 10, 000). We have driving manners where I come from......most of the time!
I am a little apprehensive about radiation this time. I am mapped up like a road map. My grandson, Madden, looks at it and says "OWEE". The other night, he kept lifting my shirt up to see my stomach where all the marking are and three new dot tattoos. He said "OWEE" every time he lifted my shirt....it became a game to him although he was very serious about it. Maybe he is trying to warn me??? I pray for a smooth ride on this journey with radiation. That we zap that lymph node and I get to take another break from treatments. I ask God that he holds me up if the radiation makes me weak. When I received my first bout of radiation in 2012, it left me almost limp. It was everything I could do to get dressed by week 3 of the radiation. Then after going home to Illinois, it was another month before I started feeling somewhat normal. My second bout of radiation was 15 days but I received radiation twice a day. It was way less taxing on me and I enjoyed the time in Texas. Since this bout of radiation sounds more like the first round of radiation, I am telling myself I will eat one way or another. My first bout left me with no appetite and they threatened a feeding tube if I lost any more weight. So, I choked down food every day to keep from getting that tube. My mom, my sister Sarah, and several of my daughters came down to help cook and be with me. This time, everyone has health problems or is having a baby....so Pat is going to have to be a healthy master chef and keep on me to eat IF I would have some bad effects from the radiation. At this point, it is a wait and see, day by day type of plan.
Once in Houston, I will try to update as long as I feel up to it. If you remember the first time I received radiation, I waited each day for the mail and walked up to the "main office" where the mail was kept to see if I had any mail. It was the only exercise I did. It was my link to home.....so feel free to send a card or picture.
I am expecting grandbaby #7 to arrive while I am in Houston, and if it is at all possible, I will make a quick flight home to see that precious little baby!!
Pat and I will most likely attend Holy Ghost Catholic Church while in Texas. I ask you to keep my entire family in your prayers. From my mom, to my sister, to Pat, my daughter Samantha and Chris as they prepare to become parents very soon, Leslie's husband, Rhett who has ripped/tore his knee up pretty bad (and will have surgery next Tuesday after the swelling goes down), and last but not least ME!
Life is good! I will take this radiation like a champ! I have a new grandbaby that will be waiting on me when I get home! I have my family who I want to be with....and even a few friends to have coffee or lunch with. The RMH Chemo Food Program is going smoothly and we are booked into May. If you or your business, church, or your friends would like to sponsor a lunch for the chemo patients, message me on Facebook or feel free to call me at 618-843-5367. The cost for lunch for ALL the chemo patients is just $30. It has been reduced but the quality/quantity of the food has not! Dr. Timothy and Darlene Garrett donate breakfast on Wednesdays so you are just sponsoring lunch. Be sure if you are donating to "LIKE" the RMH Facebook page to see your day of food donation with a thank you sign. You may also add In memory of____ or In Honor of___ to the sign.
Pay It Forward!!
I feel I have rattled on long enough. Not to mention my blue Siamese is looking at me right now and purring. He is just waiting to be woobered. Steely Dan is his name and he is so patient to sit and wait this entire post so I will turn my attention to him!!
I have thanked God so many times this past week for the beautiful scenery, the beautiful souls I have met, and the good physical health I am in to experience life every second of every day!!
If I have quoted this once, I have quoted it a thousand times. But it never gets old.....
God is good ALL the time! ALL the time, God is good!!
God Bless~~
Patty Corcoran
I enjoyed each day...Tuesday, the first evening started with pizza at a nearby pizza restaurant and then back to the hotel to talk some more. On Wednesday, I got up and met Danny VanBrenk from the Netherlands for a walk around a small part of the city. There was about an inch of new fallen snow and it was just beyond beautiful with the mountains surrounding the entire city. Our first sessions of the day started at 12. We had doctors who answered questions, talked about new treatments, we networked with our experiences, heard success stories from people who are cancer free. It was a great day! Thursday started at 8 a.m. and it was so informative....I am so thankful Pat and I were able to attend. It was an honor to be there. The day didn't end until approximately 7 and Pat and I were wiped out! Friday started early again and it was also so very full of information. That evening, 9 of us went for supper at The New Yorker. It was a pleasure to have Dr. Javle join us and it was 11:15 before we left to go back to the hotel. Along with Pat and I were two ladies from Houston, two from Ohio, one from Oregon, and one from the Netherlands. We landed ourselves in a private dining room with one round table....we could all have a discussion and everyone felt a part of it. It was one of the nicest times I have endured just discussing cancer but also just talking about life.
Saturday came too soon and it was to the airport we go by 10. As we were going through security, I saw one of the men at the conference. He wasn't a patient and I just figured he was a doctor. Close....more of a researcher. We spoke briefly as I waited for Pat to get through security. He asked us to join him for lunch and we gladly accepted. His name was Patrick Foley from Wyoming. What a nice lunch before realizing it was time to get to our gate......they were loading and it worked out perfectly!
Pat and I returned home late Saturday night around 10:30 p.m. This is the last week we will be in Illinois for awhile. I spent Sunday with my sister, Sarah. I ask for prayers for her as she continues to heal from a criminal assault which has landed her in the Carle Hospital in Champaign for a couple of weeks, plus surgery, and now intense therapy at Helia Healthcare in Olney. I am praying really, really hard for myself and the bad thoughts I have against the crazy girl who did this to Sarah. I have always had a hard time understanding crazy....but I pray no one else is harmed from this demonic person.
I have a pretty busy week ahead of me. Today was spent cleaning, painting a bit, and picking up a grandchild from preschool. Not to mention the security cameras we had installed to alert the police if there is a break-in.
Sunday, Pat and I will make the trip to Houston with a gypsy looking car packed full of clothes and things we will need while in Houston for almost 6 weeks. I will receive IMRT for 28 treatments to the aortocaval lymph node that is lighting up and now approximately 3 1/2 cm. Dr. Javle has been keeping a close eye on it and it has just increased little by little over the past nine months or so. So....its time to cook it. Pray for good aiming, good results, and few to no side effects. Pat and I are staying in a 30 foot camper that has been donated for us to use for the six weeks we are in Houston. Jackie (Muhs) Ley and her husband will take it down to the Lakeview R.V. Resort and park it for us. WOW, just WOW! How giving of her to do this for me as it has probably been my high school days since I have actually saw Jackie. Just one more family put in our path on this journey called cancer. This RV park has a pool, a hot tub, walking path, pond, exercise room, etc. This is the same campground we stayed in a couple years ago when I received radiation. It's about a 15 minute drive on a good traffic day....and my radiation appointments seem to be around 2, so if we can get in and out pretty quick, we can beat the crazy Houstonians and their reckless driving. (Please remember, I am from a town of appr. 10, 000). We have driving manners where I come from......most of the time!
I am a little apprehensive about radiation this time. I am mapped up like a road map. My grandson, Madden, looks at it and says "OWEE". The other night, he kept lifting my shirt up to see my stomach where all the marking are and three new dot tattoos. He said "OWEE" every time he lifted my shirt....it became a game to him although he was very serious about it. Maybe he is trying to warn me??? I pray for a smooth ride on this journey with radiation. That we zap that lymph node and I get to take another break from treatments. I ask God that he holds me up if the radiation makes me weak. When I received my first bout of radiation in 2012, it left me almost limp. It was everything I could do to get dressed by week 3 of the radiation. Then after going home to Illinois, it was another month before I started feeling somewhat normal. My second bout of radiation was 15 days but I received radiation twice a day. It was way less taxing on me and I enjoyed the time in Texas. Since this bout of radiation sounds more like the first round of radiation, I am telling myself I will eat one way or another. My first bout left me with no appetite and they threatened a feeding tube if I lost any more weight. So, I choked down food every day to keep from getting that tube. My mom, my sister Sarah, and several of my daughters came down to help cook and be with me. This time, everyone has health problems or is having a baby....so Pat is going to have to be a healthy master chef and keep on me to eat IF I would have some bad effects from the radiation. At this point, it is a wait and see, day by day type of plan.
Once in Houston, I will try to update as long as I feel up to it. If you remember the first time I received radiation, I waited each day for the mail and walked up to the "main office" where the mail was kept to see if I had any mail. It was the only exercise I did. It was my link to home.....so feel free to send a card or picture.
I am expecting grandbaby #7 to arrive while I am in Houston, and if it is at all possible, I will make a quick flight home to see that precious little baby!!
Pat and I will most likely attend Holy Ghost Catholic Church while in Texas. I ask you to keep my entire family in your prayers. From my mom, to my sister, to Pat, my daughter Samantha and Chris as they prepare to become parents very soon, Leslie's husband, Rhett who has ripped/tore his knee up pretty bad (and will have surgery next Tuesday after the swelling goes down), and last but not least ME!
Life is good! I will take this radiation like a champ! I have a new grandbaby that will be waiting on me when I get home! I have my family who I want to be with....and even a few friends to have coffee or lunch with. The RMH Chemo Food Program is going smoothly and we are booked into May. If you or your business, church, or your friends would like to sponsor a lunch for the chemo patients, message me on Facebook or feel free to call me at 618-843-5367. The cost for lunch for ALL the chemo patients is just $30. It has been reduced but the quality/quantity of the food has not! Dr. Timothy and Darlene Garrett donate breakfast on Wednesdays so you are just sponsoring lunch. Be sure if you are donating to "LIKE" the RMH Facebook page to see your day of food donation with a thank you sign. You may also add In memory of____ or In Honor of___ to the sign.
Pay It Forward!!
I feel I have rattled on long enough. Not to mention my blue Siamese is looking at me right now and purring. He is just waiting to be woobered. Steely Dan is his name and he is so patient to sit and wait this entire post so I will turn my attention to him!!
I have thanked God so many times this past week for the beautiful scenery, the beautiful souls I have met, and the good physical health I am in to experience life every second of every day!!
If I have quoted this once, I have quoted it a thousand times. But it never gets old.....
God is good ALL the time! ALL the time, God is good!!
God Bless~~
Patty Corcoran
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
"Peace, be still!!"
Over the past couple of months, I kept telling Pat that something was off, I needed to see my doctor. I had a pain here, a stabbing feeling there...but nothing bad enough to even take an Ibuprofen for. My back has been hurting at my tailbone....but when I reach down and touch my toes, the pain is pretty much resolved. I just felt something was going haywire......and I was scared.
So....this morning as we were driving to get my scan, I received a Messenger notice on my phone that I had a new message. I smiled, as I knew it was a friend who messages daily with a scripture and prayer for the day.I felt like this one was sent to just me and ONLY me but I know he sends it to LOTS of friends.
Here is what was sent to me:
Mark 4:39-41
"And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?" And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, "Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?" Our prayer: Lord, we are often embarrassed to be afraid. Thank you Lord, for helping us to manage our fears. Amen.
WOW! How powerful a message that came when I needed it the most. Yes, I have read this in the Bible and in scriptures more than once....but it didn't hit me in the face like it did at 6:35 this morning!
The scan seemed unusual to me as they would stop and go a lot but when they stopped the machine, it seemed like 20 minutes before they moved on. That also made me a little anxious but I stopped myself from wondering what the scan would show.
I met a new cholangiocarcinoma patient who had a resection 3 months ago. His name was Steven West and he was such a treat to meet.
Ron, the nurse I always mention, found us a room to sit in and wait our turn for the great doctor. Ron always like to joke with us and found it quite interesting that Pat was a former State Trooper in Illinois. I told Ron to hand over my scan report and bloodwork but he said he doesn't even get to see it. He stated he is a bad liar and if he read that I had a bad scan he would probably cry when he walked into the room....so we would have to wait. He told us Jackie, the PA would be in any time now. So....we waited.....and waited....Pat washed his hands....we waited.....then walks in Dr. Javle and my first thought was. "Oh no, they skipped Jackie. This MUST be bad news."
Dr. Javle stated that they compared my PET scan done today to one done in June of 2015. The aortocaval lymph node had just slightly increased. I had a node by the diaphragm that has been there but no increase really so Dr. J is not too concerned there either. Dr. Javle would like to wait three months and do another scan. He has a trial coming to MD Anderson in a couple months he is thinking of me in particular for and wants to wait it out if we can.
I told him...."But don't you worry it will metastasize to my pancreas, or kidneys, or somewhere? He stated, "Patty, it has not did that in almost five years, so the chances of it happening in the next three months is pretty slim!" Ok...you got me there! :-)
As a backup plan, we will have my local oncologist (in Illinois) ask for insurance to approve a chemo regimen JUST IN CASE we need to do it for a couple of months until the trial starts. Sometimes it takes a bit to get approval for chemo drugs so we would have the ducks in a row and ready to AIM---FIRE if we need to.
Dr. Javle considered this a good visit and mostly stable. Stable enough to let me off any treatments for three more months. BUT, then I asked why we couldn't just put some glass radioactive beads into the lymph node or radiate it. Dr. Javle thought that was something worth thinking about also. So, he emailed Dr. Das who has been my radiation oncologist for the entire time I have been at MDA, to see if he thought there was a possibility of radiating the aortocaval lymph node. Dr. Das believes there is a chance, so we are staying in Houston until he can see us by the end of the week.
This still doesn't mean I would not get on the trial in a couple of months because I STILL have cancer.....but it would get rid of the one node that is having a little growth.
So....I have options....and more than I thought. And this does not include phase one trials but I don't want to go there for as long as I can possibly keep from it.
So....to end this post without saying I am ashamed of not having MORE faith that everything will be ok is an understatement! I just know that I have seen so many friends pass on from this disease so I try to also be realistic about the disease to a certain point. Does that make sense?
So, I ask God to help me manage my fears that I have with cancer. I also thank and praise our faithful Father for always being there.....right beside me. Now THAT calms my soul!!
I'll keep you posted about the radiation.....it might be over the weekend before I post.
Have a great rest of the week!!
~~~Patty Corcoran~~~
So....this morning as we were driving to get my scan, I received a Messenger notice on my phone that I had a new message. I smiled, as I knew it was a friend who messages daily with a scripture and prayer for the day.I felt like this one was sent to just me and ONLY me but I know he sends it to LOTS of friends.
Here is what was sent to me:
Mark 4:39-41
"And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?" And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, "Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?" Our prayer: Lord, we are often embarrassed to be afraid. Thank you Lord, for helping us to manage our fears. Amen.
WOW! How powerful a message that came when I needed it the most. Yes, I have read this in the Bible and in scriptures more than once....but it didn't hit me in the face like it did at 6:35 this morning!
The scan seemed unusual to me as they would stop and go a lot but when they stopped the machine, it seemed like 20 minutes before they moved on. That also made me a little anxious but I stopped myself from wondering what the scan would show.
I met a new cholangiocarcinoma patient who had a resection 3 months ago. His name was Steven West and he was such a treat to meet.
Ron, the nurse I always mention, found us a room to sit in and wait our turn for the great doctor. Ron always like to joke with us and found it quite interesting that Pat was a former State Trooper in Illinois. I told Ron to hand over my scan report and bloodwork but he said he doesn't even get to see it. He stated he is a bad liar and if he read that I had a bad scan he would probably cry when he walked into the room....so we would have to wait. He told us Jackie, the PA would be in any time now. So....we waited.....and waited....Pat washed his hands....we waited.....then walks in Dr. Javle and my first thought was. "Oh no, they skipped Jackie. This MUST be bad news."
Dr. Javle stated that they compared my PET scan done today to one done in June of 2015. The aortocaval lymph node had just slightly increased. I had a node by the diaphragm that has been there but no increase really so Dr. J is not too concerned there either. Dr. Javle would like to wait three months and do another scan. He has a trial coming to MD Anderson in a couple months he is thinking of me in particular for and wants to wait it out if we can.
I told him...."But don't you worry it will metastasize to my pancreas, or kidneys, or somewhere? He stated, "Patty, it has not did that in almost five years, so the chances of it happening in the next three months is pretty slim!" Ok...you got me there! :-)
As a backup plan, we will have my local oncologist (in Illinois) ask for insurance to approve a chemo regimen JUST IN CASE we need to do it for a couple of months until the trial starts. Sometimes it takes a bit to get approval for chemo drugs so we would have the ducks in a row and ready to AIM---FIRE if we need to.
Dr. Javle considered this a good visit and mostly stable. Stable enough to let me off any treatments for three more months. BUT, then I asked why we couldn't just put some glass radioactive beads into the lymph node or radiate it. Dr. Javle thought that was something worth thinking about also. So, he emailed Dr. Das who has been my radiation oncologist for the entire time I have been at MDA, to see if he thought there was a possibility of radiating the aortocaval lymph node. Dr. Das believes there is a chance, so we are staying in Houston until he can see us by the end of the week.
This still doesn't mean I would not get on the trial in a couple of months because I STILL have cancer.....but it would get rid of the one node that is having a little growth.
So....I have options....and more than I thought. And this does not include phase one trials but I don't want to go there for as long as I can possibly keep from it.
So....to end this post without saying I am ashamed of not having MORE faith that everything will be ok is an understatement! I just know that I have seen so many friends pass on from this disease so I try to also be realistic about the disease to a certain point. Does that make sense?
So, I ask God to help me manage my fears that I have with cancer. I also thank and praise our faithful Father for always being there.....right beside me. Now THAT calms my soul!!
I'll keep you posted about the radiation.....it might be over the weekend before I post.
Have a great rest of the week!!
~~~Patty Corcoran~~~
Monday, December 14, 2015
FEELING SAFE......
Feeling safe is at the top of most parents list for their children. Over the last two weeks, I had two different but very similar experiences with grandchildren. The first was with Amity....when it was nap time, we read a story (she always begs for two books and momma will never know if Ja~Ja read one....or two). But when we finished reading, Amity was put right in her bed and she snuggled down and I covered her up. I, then, had to lay beside her and wait for her to drift off. I wasn't laying there over 30 seconds and this little hand reached out of the crib and motioned for me to hold her hand. She was safe.....and a tear slid down my cheek to just think that this one small action made her feel "safe". I have laid beside Amity in the dark and held her hand...but just seeing that sweet, innocent little face smiling at me tore at my heartstrings. It was a beautiful moment and one I will forever cherish.
About a week later, I had to pick Madden up from the sitter, and after lunch, we again read a book, sang a song, and I laid him in his bed. He also likes you to lay beside him....so I complied. It wasn't 3 seconds and his head popped up to see if I was still there. That happened about four times before he finally gave it up and "felt safe" and off to sleep he went. I laid there a bit and realized he also needed to feel safe....and another tear rolled down my cheek~~~~
So....after removing myself quietly from his room, I thought about feeling SAFE. How little ones look to their parents, grandparents, siblings, teachers...to make them feel safe. But when I thought about who made me feel safe....WHAT ABOUT ME? It took about three seconds before something in my head told me....God is there to make you feel safe. What would I do if I couldn't pray and talk to Him day in and day out? People without faith.....who makes them feel safe? I am blessed to know God is there....all the time. We may not understand what is happening in our life or why....but "WHY NOT?" Knowing God is beside me makes me feel SAFE. CALM. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS!
I received a call from MD Anderson that my biopsy is STILL not processed in Bethesda, Maryland so they were cancelling my appointment for Dec 22. I was a tad bit irritated and asked if I was just suppose to let the cancer do whatever it wanted with no treatment? So....I do not have an appointment until MD Anderson receives the biopsy report. So...for the second time, I cancelled flight plans. I am calm.....I am not going to worry....it would be a day wasted instead of a day enjoyed. SO.....I will enjoy Christmas, New Years, and then go on a vacation for a week to Cozumel after the first of the year. I feel "safe" with God beside me that when I get back, my appointment will be on my MD Anderson login and we will be ready for biopsy results and ready to start the fight. I also asked the lady who cancelled my appointment at MD Anderson how many people so far have been accepted into the MATCH Program....and she said zero. Will I be the first....if not, I will atleast have a full report of what is making my cancer happen...what trials are available...all my options that can be discussed at my appointment. This report is WAY more in depth from what I understand than the Foundation One testing that is usually done with a biopsy. There are still options for me....to keep fighting the fight....to keep feeling safe knowing God is right beside me along with my family, friends and WAY too many people in my community and across America.
So....a deep sigh...it has been a GREAT day!! I saw the heartbeat of my grandson on a 3D sonogram today. Thump...thump.... thump.....feeling so safe inside his mommy right now.
There are so many events in the world today that make a person not feel so safe.....but life goes on. What you do with it is totally up to you. But I hope you celebrate the birth of Jesus in just a few short weeks. Slow down....enjoy coffee with a friend...take cookies to an elderly person. It's not about gifts to me......it's about enjoying every memory....every day knowing I am blessed. I am thankful. I am loved. Feeling safe is just not about locking your doors.....no, it's waaaay more than that. It is WANTING to live the word of God every day....no one is perfect, but I keep trying! ;-) And I feel safe knowing that is exactly what He would want me to do~~
Getting ready to start my 6th year with Intra-hepatic cholangiocarcinoma..........and no matter what happens.....I will always be blessed with God's presence......! Always be faithful to the ordinary circumstances in your life. Cancer might not be ordinary.....but everyone has a journey to face. The Lord is as near as the next moment and whatever it brings.....
Peace be with you always~
Have a blessed Merry Christmas and a glorious New Year!!
Patty~~
About a week later, I had to pick Madden up from the sitter, and after lunch, we again read a book, sang a song, and I laid him in his bed. He also likes you to lay beside him....so I complied. It wasn't 3 seconds and his head popped up to see if I was still there. That happened about four times before he finally gave it up and "felt safe" and off to sleep he went. I laid there a bit and realized he also needed to feel safe....and another tear rolled down my cheek~~~~
So....after removing myself quietly from his room, I thought about feeling SAFE. How little ones look to their parents, grandparents, siblings, teachers...to make them feel safe. But when I thought about who made me feel safe....WHAT ABOUT ME? It took about three seconds before something in my head told me....God is there to make you feel safe. What would I do if I couldn't pray and talk to Him day in and day out? People without faith.....who makes them feel safe? I am blessed to know God is there....all the time. We may not understand what is happening in our life or why....but "WHY NOT?" Knowing God is beside me makes me feel SAFE. CALM. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS!
I received a call from MD Anderson that my biopsy is STILL not processed in Bethesda, Maryland so they were cancelling my appointment for Dec 22. I was a tad bit irritated and asked if I was just suppose to let the cancer do whatever it wanted with no treatment? So....I do not have an appointment until MD Anderson receives the biopsy report. So...for the second time, I cancelled flight plans. I am calm.....I am not going to worry....it would be a day wasted instead of a day enjoyed. SO.....I will enjoy Christmas, New Years, and then go on a vacation for a week to Cozumel after the first of the year. I feel "safe" with God beside me that when I get back, my appointment will be on my MD Anderson login and we will be ready for biopsy results and ready to start the fight. I also asked the lady who cancelled my appointment at MD Anderson how many people so far have been accepted into the MATCH Program....and she said zero. Will I be the first....if not, I will atleast have a full report of what is making my cancer happen...what trials are available...all my options that can be discussed at my appointment. This report is WAY more in depth from what I understand than the Foundation One testing that is usually done with a biopsy. There are still options for me....to keep fighting the fight....to keep feeling safe knowing God is right beside me along with my family, friends and WAY too many people in my community and across America.
So....a deep sigh...it has been a GREAT day!! I saw the heartbeat of my grandson on a 3D sonogram today. Thump...thump.... thump.....feeling so safe inside his mommy right now.
There are so many events in the world today that make a person not feel so safe.....but life goes on. What you do with it is totally up to you. But I hope you celebrate the birth of Jesus in just a few short weeks. Slow down....enjoy coffee with a friend...take cookies to an elderly person. It's not about gifts to me......it's about enjoying every memory....every day knowing I am blessed. I am thankful. I am loved. Feeling safe is just not about locking your doors.....no, it's waaaay more than that. It is WANTING to live the word of God every day....no one is perfect, but I keep trying! ;-) And I feel safe knowing that is exactly what He would want me to do~~
Getting ready to start my 6th year with Intra-hepatic cholangiocarcinoma..........and no matter what happens.....I will always be blessed with God's presence......! Always be faithful to the ordinary circumstances in your life. Cancer might not be ordinary.....but everyone has a journey to face. The Lord is as near as the next moment and whatever it brings.....
Peace be with you always~
Have a blessed Merry Christmas and a glorious New Year!!
Patty~~
Sunday, November 29, 2015
A look back......
This evening, I was just grazing through all of the 282 posts and 133,234 page views from people all over the world. I have people from India, Germany, France, South Korea, Philippines, and the Ukraine. It switches around and other countries are on the site as "My Audience" along with the United States (0f course). As I look at all the different pictures of me....some look worse than others and some look better. (Cancer has a way of doing that). One thing that really hits me in the face is how blessed I am to be alive....STILL!
Then, there are the people I have met in Texas, the friends I now have that have CC or have had CC but are cancer free right now. Or maybe had that transplant but have had a relapse. Then, there are the ones you get really close to...and that friend passes on. Those are the ones that mentally can just about bring you to your knees.....but you fight...because THAT is what every person who has this dreaded disease would want another patient to do...FIGHT.
FAITH.....it is intermingled in with fighting this disease. If you don't have FAITH...you might as well stick your head in the sand and lay down...and do NOTHING! Faith allows me to sleep at night. Faith is what leaves me wanting to get up every morning.
I was scheduled to get biopsy results for the MATCH Program on Dec. 2. But I got a call saying the results are not done (they were sent to Bethesda, Maryland to be processed) so now my results are scheduled to be done in the next 3 weeks so my NEW appointment is Dec 22. It's a FLY In and FLY OUT the same day kind of trip. It's a l-o-o-o-o-ng day that starts with our flight leaving at 6:35 a.m. out of St. Louis. We will be picked up and taken to MD Anderson for blood work and my results with Dr. Funda Meric. My husband researched Dr. Meric and she is top notch and on the A list for genetic researching and targeted therapies. The thing is....IF I do not have the right mutations/sequencing for the MATCH Program, I will not be eligible for MATCH. There are other trials at MD Anderson.......and I would give anything to get into an immunotherapy trial. I am hoping I get into the MATCH Program to buy me time so they can tweak the Immunotherapy treatments.
The MATCH Program has a lot of words that you have to look up the meaning of what they are all about. My husband has started diving in to see if he better understands it. My daughter, Jennifer, is also flying down to hear what Dr. Meric has to say. I am praying (and fairly confident) she will be on her A game to ask the right questions to help make the next step for me THE RIGHT STEP!
So, it seems if I go on the 22 of December for this consult, it will be close to the first of the year before I might be living off and on in Texas for a couple of months........AGAIN!
I have an old classmate that has a camper that she and her husband has graciously offered to us if we do indeed stay in Texas for an extended stay. I won't mention any names until it becomes a little more official that I will be staying at Lakeside RV Resort. Pat and I have stayed there before but it will be much cheaper if we just have lot rent and utility bills.
I had lab work done last Wednesday and everything is calm. Platelets are good....liver tests are all within normal limits except my alk phosphate which has been above average for some time now. White count is good......ALL is good. So, even though it has been 6 weeks since I have had any treatment for my cancer, according to my blood work, things are calm.
This is just a general update of where I am at in the world of cancer. I am 6 paintings painted into my third "Irene" children's book. The last page took me 10 hours to paint!! I plan to have it done before I leave for my appointment on Dec 22 (off to the printer anyway).
December 7th is our Suntone Beach Relay For Life Monical's Pizza night and 20% of all proceeds for the day go to our team. PLEASE tell them you want your order to count toward our fundraiser that day. It counts for carry~outs, deliveries, eat in......ALL DAY LONG! They will have forms at Monical's Pizza all day and you can also print it off of Facebook if you are a friend of anyone on our team (probably starting tomorrow). Mention it at your workplace so everyone can order the lunch special.... Just order on December 7th....PLEASE! and THANK YOU!!!!
I will post something when I am back from Houston....probably on the 23rd for an update since we fly in late. Pray....pray....and give thanks for....e.v.e.r.y s.i.n.g.l.e d.a.y!!!
Mrs. Patty Corcoran
4442 N Suntone Road
Olney, Illinois 62450
(P.S. For all of you that want to send me a Christmas card....and maybe get one back!!) :-)
Then, there are the people I have met in Texas, the friends I now have that have CC or have had CC but are cancer free right now. Or maybe had that transplant but have had a relapse. Then, there are the ones you get really close to...and that friend passes on. Those are the ones that mentally can just about bring you to your knees.....but you fight...because THAT is what every person who has this dreaded disease would want another patient to do...FIGHT.
FAITH.....it is intermingled in with fighting this disease. If you don't have FAITH...you might as well stick your head in the sand and lay down...and do NOTHING! Faith allows me to sleep at night. Faith is what leaves me wanting to get up every morning.
I was scheduled to get biopsy results for the MATCH Program on Dec. 2. But I got a call saying the results are not done (they were sent to Bethesda, Maryland to be processed) so now my results are scheduled to be done in the next 3 weeks so my NEW appointment is Dec 22. It's a FLY In and FLY OUT the same day kind of trip. It's a l-o-o-o-o-ng day that starts with our flight leaving at 6:35 a.m. out of St. Louis. We will be picked up and taken to MD Anderson for blood work and my results with Dr. Funda Meric. My husband researched Dr. Meric and she is top notch and on the A list for genetic researching and targeted therapies. The thing is....IF I do not have the right mutations/sequencing for the MATCH Program, I will not be eligible for MATCH. There are other trials at MD Anderson.......and I would give anything to get into an immunotherapy trial. I am hoping I get into the MATCH Program to buy me time so they can tweak the Immunotherapy treatments.
The MATCH Program has a lot of words that you have to look up the meaning of what they are all about. My husband has started diving in to see if he better understands it. My daughter, Jennifer, is also flying down to hear what Dr. Meric has to say. I am praying (and fairly confident) she will be on her A game to ask the right questions to help make the next step for me THE RIGHT STEP!
So, it seems if I go on the 22 of December for this consult, it will be close to the first of the year before I might be living off and on in Texas for a couple of months........AGAIN!
I have an old classmate that has a camper that she and her husband has graciously offered to us if we do indeed stay in Texas for an extended stay. I won't mention any names until it becomes a little more official that I will be staying at Lakeside RV Resort. Pat and I have stayed there before but it will be much cheaper if we just have lot rent and utility bills.
I had lab work done last Wednesday and everything is calm. Platelets are good....liver tests are all within normal limits except my alk phosphate which has been above average for some time now. White count is good......ALL is good. So, even though it has been 6 weeks since I have had any treatment for my cancer, according to my blood work, things are calm.
This is just a general update of where I am at in the world of cancer. I am 6 paintings painted into my third "Irene" children's book. The last page took me 10 hours to paint!! I plan to have it done before I leave for my appointment on Dec 22 (off to the printer anyway).
December 7th is our Suntone Beach Relay For Life Monical's Pizza night and 20% of all proceeds for the day go to our team. PLEASE tell them you want your order to count toward our fundraiser that day. It counts for carry~outs, deliveries, eat in......ALL DAY LONG! They will have forms at Monical's Pizza all day and you can also print it off of Facebook if you are a friend of anyone on our team (probably starting tomorrow). Mention it at your workplace so everyone can order the lunch special.... Just order on December 7th....PLEASE! and THANK YOU!!!!
I will post something when I am back from Houston....probably on the 23rd for an update since we fly in late. Pray....pray....and give thanks for....e.v.e.r.y s.i.n.g.l.e d.a.y!!!
Mrs. Patty Corcoran
4442 N Suntone Road
Olney, Illinois 62450
(P.S. For all of you that want to send me a Christmas card....and maybe get one back!!) :-)
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