Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Chemo tomorrow....

Well....I survived the vacation and it was a much needed week to sit on my tush and do nothing!! I decided to pick one "memory" to share on my blog with all of you..... 
After eating supper at our "night out restuarant", we walked to the pier behind the restuarant and listened to the two man band playing 80's music. You could make requests and just enjoy the music, the water, the breeze blowing softly, and it just hit me all at once that we were all laughing/smiling at the same time. I didn't say anything to anyone but my eyes filled with tears of joy at just "living in the moment" and being so grateful to share such a special week with everyone. I thank God daily for each day I am healthy and able to live a mostly normal life!! 
I go back to Effingham for chemo tomorrow. I am anxious to see what my bloodwork looks like as I had that extra week to let my blood build back up. It's a bad thing in a way that I had the extra week because my body needs the chemo to fight the cancer....but I must have a little of my daddy in me as I took a gamble and thought it was more important to live in the moment and spend that precious time with my family!!
We start one of our biggest programs back up on Sept. 1 (at work) and I am a little worried if I can handle the stress of it. There have been some major changes/other programs starting with it that are new and they always have "adjustments" for a few weeks .....so I am hopeful to be able to handle it all as I have always stressed over it in years past.....why would this year be any different, right? Well....stress adds to your chances of getting cancer so I REALLY don't need it now. I usually don't even sleep the night before the program starts......it's just a mental thing I need to get over!
It has been 6 months since I found out I had cancer.....some people with my type of cancer don't even make the six month anniversary......just depends on your overall health, age, nutrition, and FAITH! I have faith I will be here in six months. I will take each day one at a time. Every night as I lay in bed, I thank God for the day I just lived through and as healthy as I am. The next morning, I ask him to guide me through that day and each night, it all happens again in my prayers.
I go back to MD Anderson on October 4-6 for PET scan and dr consult to see if it is still showing signs of necrosis (the tumor is slowly dying) or if it is just stable and not getting any bigger....which is a good thing, too.
Sometimes I get so busy praying for all of my friends with ailments (cancer, MS, motorcycle accidents), I forget to ask God to remember me with His healing hands. I know God knows......and if all the people I am praying for ask the good Lord to heal me, then it all comes full circle, right?

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